A Response to the Supreme Court's Decision on Same-Sex Marriage:

 The ruling does not end the institution of marriage from GOD’s perspective:

ü  In the book of Genesis, we read that God in the beginning created first a man (Adam) to exercise dominion over his creation and subsequently a woman (Eve) as the man's "suitable helper" (Genesis 2:18, 20). Then, the inspired writer remarks, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24 ESV). This verse sets forth the biblical pattern as it was instituted by God at the beginning: one man is united to one woman in matrimony, and the two form one new natural family. In this regard, "become one flesh" not only refers to the establishment of one new family but also to the husband and wife's sexual union leading to the procreation of offspring. This, in turn, is in keeping with God's original command to the first human couple to "be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion" over all of creation (Genesis 1:28).

ü  Marriage is not merely a human agreement between two consenting individuals (a "civil union"); it is a relationship before and under God (Genesis 2:22).

ü  JESUS taught this same truth – Matthew 19:4-6.

ü  Other Scriptures:  Ephesians 7:1-6 – 1 Corinthians 7:2-4 – Ephesians 5:21-31 – Colossians 3:18.

·         GOD is still in control.  GOD was not surprised nor shocked.  I believe GOD will use this to bring about His purposes for His people (Genesis 50:19-21).  GOD is calling us to repent of religious performance & to enter into authentic relationship with Him (James 1:26-27; 2 Timothy 3:1-9; Hosea 6:6). 

·         How must we respond:

ü  The Church needs to repent.  While many of the rumors about divorce among Christians being higher or equal to the rest of the culture are not found to be true, a large portion of those in the Church have very poor marriages & families.  We must repent of our own sexual immorality.  We must repent of our own spiritual harlotry (see the book of Hosea).

ü  Let us respond as JESUS did to those who hated Him:

Ø  Loving your enemy -- Matthew 5:43-48.

Ø  Forgiving others – Matthew 18:21-35; Luke 23:34; 1 Peter 2:21-23; 1 Corinthians 13:5.

Ø  He was kind & showed mercy to those whom the religious world condemned – Luke 15:1-2; John 4; John 8.

ü  Let us respond as our brothers & sisters of Emanuel Church in Charleston, SC, who expressed forgiveness toward Dylan Roof, the young man who murdered their loved ones.  This is a powerful testimony to the entire world.

ü  Fully trust & rest in the authentic Gospel of JESUS and the convicting work of HOLY SPIRIT rather than using worldly methods void of GOD’s power to confront our culture (2 Corinthians 10:3-5; Ephesians 6:10-18).  JESUS strongly proclaimed that He is “the Rock” upon which His Church will be built & the truth of His love & redeeming work is more powerful than the very gates of hades & more powerful than all the enemies of GOD (Matthew 16:13-19).  Paul taught that the authentic Gospel of JESUS is the power of GOD unto salvation (Romans 1:16); not fighting against other men & women who are also created in His image & who are image bearers though possibly blinded by the enemy.  Paul taught that “it’s the kindness of GOD that leads to repentance (Romans 2:4).  Proverbs teaches, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).

Conclusion:  I truly believe the LORD may be squeezing His people in order that we would come to repentance to stop trusting in our flesh and to stop trusting in worldly methods in our efforts to build His Church and in our efforts to confront a lost & unbelieving culture.  Why would we expect an unbelieving world to embrace Biblical truth?  I am hopeful and excited that GOD is working out His redemptive plan among His people.  We will not compromise our strong conviction on GOD’s word as absolute truth for all people for all times.  We will not compromise our faith in the belief that GOD has not been surprised nor shaken by the Supreme Court’s ruling on same-sex marriage on June 26, 2015.  We will continue to believe that GOD is at work redeeming His people.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with GOD, and the Word was GOD.  He was in the beginning with GOD.  All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being.  In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men.  The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it” (John 1:1-5).   

My Coming Out Story

In September of 2012, sitting on a beach at Destin, FL, I was challenged by a book called, “Washed and Waiting,” by Wesley Hill.  Hill’s writing challenged me and I’ve been trying to figure out what the LORD is calling me to do with it.

As I share my current story in this article I will reference Hill’s book often.  It closely resembles my own story and I have referred others to it as they desire to have a better understanding of my experience and the experience of others like me.  Though my story is certainly uniquely my story and I do not embrace every statement in Hill’s book he has skillfully written an extremely important book for our time.  I highly recommend it.

Though I have been open about my own personal homosexual history ever since I experienced a church intervention in November of 1995 and I have never led anyone to believe that I have become a person with heterosexual desires I feel it is vitally important for me at this time to be crystal clear about my own personal sexuality and how I have chosen to live out the rest my life.

It seems in the past several months more and more Christians who experience gay desires are “coming out” and embracing gay identities.  It also seems more and more churches are identifying their faith communities as gay affirming communities denying the “truth and the position the Christian Church has held with almost total unanimity throughout the centuries:  that homosexuality was not GOD’s original creative intention for humanity, that it is, on the contrary, a tragic sign of human nature and relationships being fractured by sin, and therefore that homosexual practice goes against GOD’s express will for all human beings, especially those who trust in Christ (Washed & Waiting, by Wesley Hill, p. 14-15).”

For as long as I can remember I have experienced homosexual longings and desires.  Even as a young boy I was involved in homosexual behavior . . . acting out with others what had been acted out on me during years of sexual abuse.  This was my dark secret life and practice for the first forty-five years of my life.    

As a seventeen year old I lived with intense shame and guilt.  Though I was not a Christian and had not been raised attending church and had very little comprehension of the existence of GOD, I had a deep sense within me that my homosexual desires were not what I wanted to embrace.  They were a dead-end street to me.  I wanted to be married to a woman and have a family.

Out of a sense of desperation I made an independent conscious choice to follow Christ and to intentionally lean more about the Christian way of living.  Unfortunately, it was not until the church intervention twenty-eight years later that I began to more fully comprehend what authentic Christianity looked like.  I continue to be deeply moved by GOD’s purposes through adversity and suffering.  This year (November 2015) will be twenty years that I have been on this incredible redemptive journey of following JESUS in a transparent and authentic way.  Using the title of Hill’s book I have been “washed” clean by GOD’s Son and Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:11) and have been living my life “waiting” in hope (Romans 8:25).

So, I am on a journey . . . an adventure!  And as I enter into the latter years of my life things have never been better!  Yes, I continue to struggle week in and week out as I learn from JESUS how to live faithfully as a Christian who experiences same-gender attractions.  But Holy Spirit has birthed within me a greater passion for Him than for my sexual longings.  I believe that is the only way any human being created as sexual beings will find peace, joy, and fulfillment as we “wait” for the culmination of our true eternal destiny . . . the purpose for which all humans exist. 

Though GOD’s presence in my life has not meant that I now have opposite-gender attractions He has in some mysterious way spiritually and surgically removed my old flesh born of Adam and replaced it with His new flesh born of JESUS and His Spirit (2 Corinthians 5:14-21).  Whereas before my heart’s desire was to fulfill my fleshly desire, now my heart’s desire and passion in life is to allow Holy Spirit to “life-out” the life of JESUS in me and through me (Galatians 5:16-25).

I do not want to dispute GOD’s ability to change homosexual desire for some, but I do want to clarify that has not been my experience.  Nor has it been the experience of many other authentic Christians who silently struggle to remain faithful as they truly worship and serve with us, day after day, in the fellowship of the Church (Hill, p. 15).

Even still, I have made a conscientious choice not to embrace a gay identity but rather to follow JESUS fully and to continually pursue a deeper level of intimacy with the Father unhindered by an idolatrous pursuit of sexuality on any level whether it be homosexual or heterosexual.

Whether you or I possess same-gender longings or opposite-gender longings GOD calls all of us to live out and celebrate the moral empowering of HOLY SPIRIT in our lives (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).  The purpose of my story and of Sight Ministry is to help Christians who continue to possess same-gender desires but who are non-practicing to live out and celebrate the grace of JESUS and the power of HOLY SPIRIT.  [We also purpose to reach out in a redemptive loving way to challenge individuals who are self-identified as gay and who may be Christian or who may not be Christian to honestly consider and enter into dialogue with the truths of the authentic Gospel of JESUS.]

I feel compelled to share my story with complete transparency because I know there are many other Christians who are already convinced that their discipleship to JESUS necessarily commits them to the demanding, costly obedience of choosing not to nurture their homosexual desires, whether through private fantasies or physical relationships with other gay or lesbian people (Hill, page 16).

My desire is like that of Wesley Hill’s, to contribute in some small way to breaking the silence that persists in many churches.  A large number of Christians who possess same-gender desires feel frightened at the thought of sharing the story of their sexuality with their fellow believers.  For years they choose to remain silent paralyzed by fear and shame.  I did that for most of my life.  I will not go back into the closet again to be enslaved by secrets.  My hope is to encourage many other Christians to take the risky step of opening up their lives to others in the body of Christ.  This encompasses a powerful biblical principle about living in the light rather than the darkness and openly confessing our sin and struggles with one another as we come together in the Body of Christ the authentic Church (Hebrews 10:19-25).

I can’t say it any better than Hill’s writing (pages 18-19):

“I desire to encourage those who have grown up feeling like resident aliens and have struggled to know why.  I desire to encourage those who are Christians who fear what their parents might think when they discover the attractions their sons or daughters have wrestled with for years.  I desire to encourage those who have married heterosexuals in a last ditch effort to change their sexual orientation (as I did) but who find their homosexual desires just as strong today as they ever were before.  I want to encourage all the Christians living behind closed doors, desperately wanting to share their deepest secret with the churches they attend but feeling unable to.”

“I desire to encourage persons who have experienced stinging rejections from Christians but who nevertheless are convinced that GOD wants them to try to live pure and faithful lives within the flawed and often hurtful community of the Church.  I want to encourage those who have tried – and are trying – to “become heterosexual” and are not succeeding and wonder, for the umpteenth time, what exactly it is that GOD wants them to do.”

“But I also want to help others – parents, brothers and sisters, close relatives not in the immediate family, good friends, pastors, student leaders, counselors – who are close to Christians who have same-gender desires and want to help guide them toward healing, wholeness, and Christian maturity.”

“I want to help Christians who have same-gender desires to believe that the authentic Gospel of JESUS can enable and empower them to fulfill GOD’s purposes in this world.  I want to help them to learn how to deal with their loneliness.  I want them to know that even as a Christian who has homosexual desires they can actually be “a real ingredient in the divine happiness” (C. S. Lewis).  We can please GOD, we can truly experience His pleasure in the midst of sexual brokenness, and in the end share in His glory.” 

“I want to help others embrace the truth that being gay or having same-gender desires, or for that matter, having opposite-gender desires, isn’t the most important thing about a person’s identity.  We need to passionately live out the fact that we are Christian before we are anything else.  Our sexuality is only a part of who we are, a facet of our personality.  One day, whether in this life or the next, all of that will fade away.  But our identity in JESUS will always remain!”

I wonder what the world would look like if gay people and straight people alike would be as passionate about having an authentic intimate love relationship with GOD through JESUS as they have about their sexuality and about demanding their own civil rights. 

May we embrace the truth that all people are created by GOD and in the image of GOD and that our ultimate purpose is to “love GOD with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might” (Deuteronomy 6:5; Matthew 22:36-40).  May we come to have a heart of compassion and love toward others like me who possess same-gender attractions but who choose to embrace their true identity in JESUS, so that we might also have freedom to follow JESUS with the community of faith we call the Church.

[I want to passionately ask you to partner with Sight Ministry at this strategic time in our nations’ history.  I need you.  Individuals participating in our ministry need you.  Those who have yet to learn of our ministry need you.  Please contact me to learn how you can partner with us.]  

February 18: Ash Wednesday, the First Day of Lent

Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the 40 days of Lent.  Though Ash Wednesday & Lent are not observed so much by evangelical Christians there is much we could learn from its observance.  There are disagreements as to when the Lenten season officially ends.  But for our purposes I encourage you to consider entering a fast from now through Saturday, April 4 (the eve of Easter Day, April 5).

Jesus gives some instruction about fasting:  “Whenever you fast, do not put on a gloomy face as they hypocrites do, for they neglect their appearance so that they will be noticed by men when they are fasting.  Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.  But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face so that your fasting will not be noticed by men, but by your Father who is in secret” (Matthew 6:16-18).

Fasting can involve just about anything we are willing to sacrifice for a period of time.  The most important point is that we are willing to sacrifice for the purpose of focusing on something far greater.  May these following days be days of focusing on who JESUS is & on what He accomplish through His redemptive work by offering Himself up on a cross.

May we prepare for this Easter season as if it truly is one of the most important events in the history of all the world.

"Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

It is written, “Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of GOD.” –JESUS

How does this truth fulfill, “Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven?”  It is important that we come to the realization that we were primarily created by GOD to focus all of our life on Him . . . to seek an authentic personal love relationship with Him. 

We must stop worshipping the stuff of this world rather than GOD Our Creator.  He made each of us for Himself . . . for His purposes.  Therefore, we are primarily spiritual beings.  Life does not consist of an accumulation of worldly stuff.  In heaven there are no social classes or concern for material things.  May it be so here . . . on earth . . . now!  

Sight Ministry 2015 Spring Semester Small Group Information

If you are interested in getting involved or if you know someone who might be interested please reply or call me and we can talk about the details.  Please pass this information forward to everyone you know.  You never know how this important information may end up in the hands of someone who needs to know it exists.

Any individual who personally experiences attractions to others of the same gender and wants to be involved in this area of Sight Ministry must first make an initial appointment with me.  

The following is a brief description of our current small groups – Groups begin Tuesday, February 3:

·         Family & Friends:  This group is open to anyone who has a family member or friend who has a loved one who is attracted to the same gender.

·         Women’s Group:  This group is open only to women who have attractions to the same gender and who have graduated from Lifetime Guarantee.

·         Lifetime Guarantee:  This group is open to anyone who has attractions to the same gender.  The group and study is a pre-requisite for continuing participation in Sight Ministry. Book:  “Lifetime Guarantee,” by Bill Gillham.  Book description:  If you are exhausted in your efforts to fix your gay issues or to fix other problems in your life this may be a great group experience for you.  It’s not your “problems” that need to be fixed—it’s your life!  The good news is that GOD doesn’t ask you to live your life for Christ, but to let Him live His life through you.  We will help you understand how you have programmed your brain with earthly techniques for satisfying your needs for love and self-esteem and help you to discover the ultimate solution through the exchanged life!  Someone has said, “Your problem is that you don’t really know what your problem is.  What you think is your problem is merely a symptom of your real problem.”  Come and discover what your problem really is and the Ultimate Solution!

·         Wives:  At this time we do not have a leader for this group.  This group is open to anyone whose husband is experiencing attractions to the same gender.  Topics addressed will include first steps on the journey, grieving the losses, dealing with anger, disclosure, safe relationships, setting limits, admitting fears, understanding the struggle, trusting wisely, and next steps on the journey.

·         4Streams:  This group is open only to men who have attractions to the same gender and who have graduated from Lifetime Guarantee.

For more information or to schedule an appointment contact Richard Holloman:  615-509-0782 – richard@thesightministry.org – www.thesightministry.org.   

Tangible Ways To Help Participants of Sight Ministry

You may have been wondering how you could become a partner and a friend of Sight Ministry and how you could show your love and support for the individuals involved and what we purpose to accomplish.

The following are a few simple things you can do but are suggestions that would be HUGE for us:

1. Truly pray about giving financially on a monthly basis.  I believe if you pray specifically about this the LORD will clearly show you His will.  Then simply walk in obedience to what you hear whether that means to give or not.  Even minimum monthly contributions are extremely significant. 

2. Write a note of encouragement and support to the participants of Sight Ministry and I will publish it in the monthly newsletter.  This can be done totally anonymously, first name only, or your full name.  We need to know there are others “out there” who support our choice to follow JESUS rather than embrace a gay identity.

3. PLEASE . . . get our information into the hands of your church leadership and take initiative to set up a meeting between them and myself.  We really need many more churches to partner with us.  Partnering is a two-way street:  (1) We have much to offer local church leaders and members; (2) It would be awesome if more churches helped us financially (My church is the only church supporting us monthly.  There are two other churches who give to us once or twice a year); (3) if your church does any kind of mission’s fair or outreach fair we would love to set up our information exhibit; (4) I would love to have opportunity to speak at your church, share my testimony, conduct a workshop, and train leadership; (5) We desire to build a network of “safe” churches to partner with us and to refer individuals to.  I’d love the opportunity to share what it means to be a “safe church.”

4. Become a part of a new “Email Prayer Line.”  I would be interested in building an email group that is dedicated to praying for specific needs concerning Sight Ministry and participants within our ministry.  If you are willing to serve in this prayer group please email me:  richard@thesightministry.org.  

Sight Ministry exists to provoke the Church to “stimulate [believers] to love and good deeds” and . . . . ”To preach the gospel to the poor, to proclaim release to the captives & recovery of sight to the blind” (Luke 4:18).

Transparent Thoughts

We need your support more than ever before!  I’m not simply referring to financial need, though that truly is a greater need than ever.  For 2014 we were more than $3,700 short of our budget needs.  Payroll for the second half of December was not met until after the New Year.  This has not happened in the entire history of our ministry (2000).  

The board of directors has taken notice and believes the LORD is trying to get our attention.  I’m not certain what that means, but we ask you to continue to pray about what the LORD would have you do in the area of finances for Sight Ministry.  Our faith in the LORD’s provision has not wavered.  In these past 14 years I have not missed one single meal due to lack of financial provision.  You should know before I would let myself miss a meal I would invite myself to your house for dinner.  My heart is deeply moved by those of you who give regularly to this ministry and I truly thank GOD for each of you.

An equally important reason why we need your support more than ever is because those of us who personally deal with attractions to the same gender feel more and more ostracized.  We feel more alienated by the pressures of the environment in which we live each day.  We feel more alone than ever before.

Most of us involved in Sight Ministry have surrounded ourselves with our own personal support base through our small group ministry and, even more importantly, through the local church that we are connected to.  However, due to the almost unanimous acceptance of society toward embracing a gay identity we feel that we are total outsiders looked down upon buy our culture.  The pressure is mounting for us to follow the norms of our culture or risk complete alienation and rejection.  Sometimes it becomes nearly unbearable and leaves us feeling alone and rejected. 

                                                                                                  

This is magnified, more than you can realize, as the Church and Christian community seems more and more disinterested in being tangibly involved in the redemptive process that Sight Ministry, and other ministries like ours, is committed to.  The silence and lack of support from the overwhelming majority of churches and Christians is extremely disheartening.

During our group meetings I often look around the table at the faces of the 20-25 people involved.  I often begin to weep as I think about their stories and how they have been deeply wounded by their experiences with the Church.  I think about their commitment to follow JESUS rather than to succumb to the pressures of society or to their almost unbearable needs for intimacy with someone of the same sex.  In my opinion these people are real heroes of the faith.  I often need to repent of my anger toward the hurtful silence and neglect from the faith community.

We need you!  We need the Church and other followers of JESUS to stand with us, to walk with us, to love us unconditionally where we are.  We need you to support us in tangible ways . . . please do not forget us in 2015!  We need you!

[If you would be able and willing to give financially to Sight Ministry please make your checks out to SIGHT MINISTRY & mail to:  Sight Ministry, PO Box 140808, Nashville, TN  37214.  Check out our website:  www.thesightministry.org.  If you need assistance in any way please feel free to email me at:  richard@thesightministry.org.  Feel free to call me at 615-509-0782.  I am the only one who will answer that number and all calls are strictly confidential].